I'm going to look at the positive.
I'm going to be happy today.
I'm going to resist the anger, the hate, the violence.
I'm going to smile.
I'm going to laugh.
I'm going to cuddle.
No more crying.
No more screaming at the top of my lungs.
No more hating who I am.
I'm to actually fucking take care of myself.
I'm not doing good anymore because it's finally become too much.
Too much stress. Too much anger. Too much negativity.
So I'm going to smile, and let some things go.
I'm going to laugh, and let some things go.
I'm going to run, and let some things go.
I'm not going to starve for perfection anymore.
I'm not going to hate myself for not being perfect.
I'm not going to treat him as badly as I've treated myself.
I'm not going to hurt my body more than it already is,
Because let's be honest. I'm already pretty fucked.
I can't let my blood sugar become an issue too, here.
My plan?
Look for the positive.
Look for the wishes.
Look for the goals.
Look for the fun.
Forget what's holding me back.
Forget all the pain.
Forget all the anger.
Forget all the confusion.
Today is day one.
Today is just a start.
I don't expect much.
But I do expect myself to try.
Because for once, I fucking deserve better.
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