Raw Art

Whenever we'd have those 'family days', we'd always end up going to Milly's. It was a quiet family restaurant, one of a kind but typical, fake plants and all. A nice cozy atmosphere. I'd order a salad and soup; everyone else would get their usuals. The food was always good and filling. Desert was uncommon for us even though they had delicious oreo pie. We'd pay and leave. After much deliberation in the car, we'd end up driving down Fort Street or Eureka Always ending up in a huge parking lot of a strip mall. In a different city, I would ask which store we were going to. We'd always end up going to Salvation Army, or Council of the Blind, or Value World. Entering the doors would be a musty, but not horrible smell. Looking through rack and rack of women's clothing, I would find a shirt or two and go to try them on. Usually they fit perfectly or were stretched beyond usage. Most cost between 2-4 dollars. Ones I picked out were from average places like Forever 21, 579, or Wet Seal. Sometimes I would try on the pricier prom dresses ($8-15). Some fit, some didn't. I wasn't planning on buying them anyway. After Molly and I checked out what the other found, I'd make my way to the back of the store to look at knick-knacks or Brick-a-Brack. Cd's were almost always in a corner. Once I found them, I'd look for odd covers or unusual band names. Then I'd pick 2 or 3 Cd's that interested me, check their condition, and bring them to the counter when the family met up. Once we went to a few more stores and drove home, I'd rush to my room where my stereo was. I'd place the most interesting CD in the player, press play and sit back to listen. Sometimes I'd slide the front cover out of the case and check to see if there were lyrics. Sometimes I'd find out the music HAD no lyrics. It was completely instrumental. I liked those a lot. I also liked techno. And some soft rock. And odd combination, I know, but hey! I am weird. I'd switch tracks every minute or so and once I got done with the first CD, I'd check the next one. It went on and on until I checked all the Cd's. Once I listened to all of them, I'd pick my favorite and basically memorize every single bit of the music. The rhythm, the notes, the lyrics, the beats, the feeling, the mood, the ideas behind it. I'd rip apart each song looking for meaning. And sometimes, I'd find that meaning. Finding it would make the entire process completely worth it. Music was MY thing. It was private. I didn't like to buy into the popular music that had no emotion behind it, just a catchy tune and jingle. I liked raw. I WANTED raw. It was my thing. And raw music, was what I wanted. Raw music with raw emotion. Music was art and I wanted art. So I got art, raw art. It was a cycle. Never ending. But it always started with those family days.

Always.