Maybe

No one expected such behavior out of a student of D.M. High School, one of the few Christian all-girl schools. It was absolutely unheard of. Though that didn't stop Ivy, a successful Junior with outstanding grades. She'd been such an innocent young soul and most of the population didn't believe the rumors. Though they were all true. She had gone to a party. She had taken ecstacy. She had slept with a boy she barely knew. All of it was true.

The morning she woke up in his bed in his apartment, thoughts swirled and spiraled.

I couldnt have done this. I couldn't have let this happen. Why did I go? Why did I want to go? I wanted fun. I wanted a break from the real world. And i found it. I found what I was looking for. But was it worth it? Was it worth all this pain? All this worrying? I would hope so but I know it's not. All it is worth is the experience of this regret. I know that I'll never do it again. But is that all I need to learn?

Her thoughts were cut short by the realization he had left. She got up, surveying the room. Not neat, but not disgusting. A few books laying around, a messenger bag was slung across a chair to her right. He was in college, she assumed. To her suprise, she felt in control. A rising sense of freedom too, but it was nauseating. She just slept with a guy she barely knew. She'd taken illegal drugs. She'd taken escstasy! She'd felt that high. She'd felt sensual, and of course with her lack of self control, she acted on it. She'd never even kissed a boy up until that point, much less had a boyfriend.

She had to go, she had to get home. She had to come up with an excuse. Had she gone to Melissa's house for a sleepover afterward? Maybe Annie's. Or even Becka's. She had to figure it all out fast. When would this guy be getting home?

She took a look around the room again. Then a sticky-note caught her eye. It read: "I'm sorry I left. i would have stayed to see you off, but I had a job interview. The party was fun, and so were you. Call me sometime." a 7 digit number was left in the corner of the pink paper. Would she ever call him? Probably not. She wouldn't get over the shame for a long, long time.

Facing school the week afterwards was one of the hardest things Ivy ever had to do. Walking through the hallways, trying to keep her composure; these were daunting tasks when some friends chose to ignore her. She hadn't even confided in anyone. They all just assumed it was true. It was hard to see people she'd once loved feel instantly repulsed by her. "A lesson I have
to learn.." was the mantra that kept her going.

By her senior year, most had forgotten about Ivy's one night stand. Although it wasn't spoken of, it was in the back of every mind. Ivy remembered his number by heart, and thought of calling it every day. Maybe some day, she would call him. Maybe some day she'd forgive him. She'd forgive him for the innocence he stole from her. She'd forgive him for the heartache she felt afterwards. She'd forgive him for not seeing her off. Maybe she'd forgive herself.