I told myself I’d work really hard composing this one,
because you deserve the extra effort..
There was anger and hatred and pain,
An inner battle I knew I couldn’t win.
Searching desperately for anything that slightly resembled a
love.
But this was all to no avail.
There was no one.
It wasn’t meant to be.
I wasn’t supposed to be happy.
The universe didn’t want this for me.
I was empty. It was
meaningless feeling anything.
I couldn’t care because there was nothing.
“We found a drummer for the band”
Oh, really did you.
Is he just a loser too?
I can’t be happy for you.
I don’t want you to drag anyone else under.
But he wasn’t average.
A few weeks went by and finally a meeting.
Quiet, shy, reserved.
I am nothing more.
And he is gone too fast.
But he’s back again, just in time.
A familiar walk down to 7-11 and I hear it.
I hear his sarcastic tone.
I hear his failures.
I hear his pain.
And I know.
A bonfire, a grilled cheese, and a snapchat later.
It’s set. The goal is
set.
And I do not back down from goals.
Few days go by, and he’s not there.
No gas.
There is a solution.
The answer is not expected, but still what I want.
And I’m drunk.
Oh god no.
I’m drunk I’m drunk I’m drunk I’m gone I’m gone I’m gone.
And maybe without that I wouldn’t be here.
But the game was so hard to play.
He wanted her, he wants her, she’s so pretty, and she’s a
girl.
I am not. I am shy,
reserved, quiet me and now I am drunk too.
This isn’t even about him anymore,
This is about every single rejection.
Every single stab at my chest.
Every single cut.
But then she’s gone.
And he’s still there.
And so am I.
And we text.
And we share hidden smiles.
And I’m sobering up.
But I’m not.
I’m still gone.
He reaches out from under his blanket and claws my face.
More like a bear's sweetest caress.
This is endearing.
After a morning ride to watching the sun rise.
We are back and we are alone.
“Smoke?”
“Please.”
And it is spilled.
Everything spills.
And nothing can be taken back.
We are talking, but we’re not, but we are.
And I’ve never talked to someone like you.
I’ve never met someone as beautiful as you.
It’s a connection my brain can’t comprehend as well as my
heart.
But I find myself accepting this. Easily.
We can’t kiss now. We
both know it.
We both know.
So a date then.
Yes, a date.
And we’re off.
Coffee. Holding
hands. Fireworks.
So this is how it’s going to be.
Signs all pointing towards you being the one.
Time. We have all the
time we need, but not enough.
I’ve been without part of myself for 19 years.
Gazing into your eyes for an eternity that passed by too
fast.
Nothing has ever compared with this moment.
You are going to become my world and I’m falling and I’m not
stopping.
I need this. I’ve
needed you.
The missing piece has finally fit into place.
It’s my job to make it snug and warm.
And I will guard it with everything I have.
I will protect you.
I will not fail you.
((Minus the Bear-Secret Country))
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