There's things you'll never understand about me,
Which isn't necessarily a good thing
And to be perfectly honest, that's okay.
I'm just waiting for the day you see through it all,
And find that specific flaw you've been trying to avoid.
I just wonder if you'll act like it's not there or confront it.
I wonder if you'll even give me a chance to correct it.
I wonder if you'll want me to.
I just hate that I keep getting choked up over the small things.
The things that don't matter at all.
Or at least, the things that shouldn't matter.
But for some reason, I do.
And for some other reason,
When I'm alone, laying in bed, staring at the bright screen,
I can't cry.
I can't do it.
Even thought I desperately wish I could.
Because it does hurt lying to you.
A lot.
You said it doesn't matter as long as it's nothing big,
But this is probably the biggest thing I could imagine lying to you about.
I have to be strong to be with you.
I'm afraid I'm not going to ever be able to be me, and fully me.. around you.
I have to be strong enough to let go and let you see everything..
But it's so much harder than anyone can imagine.
You have a power over me no one else ever has..
And it bothers me.
And it SHOULD bother me.
But I have no idea how to make it stop.
You have the power to wreck me, ruin me, break me, destroy me even,
And I wish there was a way to let you know without really letting you know.
I guess you know now.
I guess this is my way of opting out of the responsibility.
I need you to be gentle though.
There's always double entendre.
ALWAYS.
I just need you to see through it.
I just need you to see.
I just need you.
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