Crying.

I felt manic at that moment.

Not sick, but unsteady.

That black licorice scent.

I'm there already?

It takes at least an hour,

Not less than ten MINUTES.

Full of fake strength and power,

I made false promises.

I lied to myself and everyone there.

Finally he came back and the truth unfolded,

My brothers didn't understand.

They'd been gone for ten minutes.

I was gone.

So far gone.

I feigned my happiness with shots and shots and shots,

Until one by one they left,

And only two were still there.

We danced to the music on his alienware,

Until I couldn't see straight.

I tried to explain but I couldn't dictate.

Is this fate?

This will be the last time.

No more no more no more.

I wasn't fine,

And I can't be fine.

I won't lie, I was scared.

And I definitely wasn't prepared.

Addictive personalities have addictive habits.

And I'm going to learn from my past.