#5

I want to cry.

This has been so much more difficult than I ever imagined.

I thought that I’d be happy to see these girls four days in a row,

But I don’t think I can do it anymore.

I don’t want to be the bad guy,

But I can’t be the good guy.

I just can’t.

I wish that things were like they were before I met band,

Before I even know I’d want to be in band, much less colorguard.

I’m so angry this is what I feel like.

I know in the future I’m going to be missing these days.

So I’m going to hold my head high, knowing the next two days will be difficult,

But I’m going to accept it, and move on.

I can’t change dates.

I can’t change who other people are.

All I can change is my mood, because that’s what determines everything else.