"Hey"
"Hi, when can you hang out?"
"Whenever. But what are we doing?"
"Well Johnny said that we could go to Tim Ho-"
"Um well. Uh."
"Why what, did something happen? Can you still hang?"
"No. Nothing happened. And yeah, I can."
"Why, do you not wanna hang with him? We could go see Mary, cuz she's working."
"No I just don't think i can right now. I can't do it. Not right now." The tears filled along my eye lashes, overfilled, and rolled down my cheeks.
"Why what's wrong?"
"I don't know, but I just can't. I'm sorry." I breathed in deeply, so he wouldn't hear my voice crack.
"Did something happen?"
"No I just, no. Nothing. I'm fine." It cracked. Dammit.
"Jenna...?"
"No Nathan it's fine. Go hang with him, I can hang after dinner I think.. If not. I don't know. Go hang with him. I'm-" All the words came out mushed together instead of crisp and quick as I'd been attempting.
"Whoa Jenna, what's wrong?" He was worried now.
"NOTHING. I'm f-fine."
"Jenna, Chill out. Breathe. It'll be okay. Tell me what's wrong."
I tried breathing. "Nothings wrong, I'm fine. I'm just not. ready. I can't hang out right now."
"Okay, breathe. Just breathe in. Deep breaths. It's okay, it's okay."
silence
"You still there?"
"yeah."
"What happened? This isn't like you."
"Nothing, I swear to god. I just can't hang out right now." My voice was on edge now.
"Are you sure nothing happened?"
silence.
"You there?"
"Yeah. I just. I don't know. I can't."
"Can't what?"
"Be around people right now. I can't do it."
"Do you want to hang out just you and me?"
"No hang out with Johnny. He sees you less than me anyway." The guilt was overwhelming, realizing the truth of this statement.
"I've been with him since early yesterday. Him and Brad spent the night. It's okay. He won't mind."
"Well. Still."
"Jenna it's okay. It's gonna be okay."
Quietly i responded, "I don't know. I can't. Think."
"Well tell me this; What's wrong?"
"i don't know." And I've never spoken truer words.
"Hi, when can you hang out?"
"Whenever. But what are we doing?"
"Well Johnny said that we could go to Tim Ho-"
"Um well. Uh."
"Why what, did something happen? Can you still hang?"
"No. Nothing happened. And yeah, I can."
"Why, do you not wanna hang with him? We could go see Mary, cuz she's working."
"No I just don't think i can right now. I can't do it. Not right now." The tears filled along my eye lashes, overfilled, and rolled down my cheeks.
"Why what's wrong?"
"I don't know, but I just can't. I'm sorry." I breathed in deeply, so he wouldn't hear my voice crack.
"Did something happen?"
"No I just, no. Nothing. I'm fine." It cracked. Dammit.
"Jenna...?"
"No Nathan it's fine. Go hang with him, I can hang after dinner I think.. If not. I don't know. Go hang with him. I'm-" All the words came out mushed together instead of crisp and quick as I'd been attempting.
"Whoa Jenna, what's wrong?" He was worried now.
"NOTHING. I'm f-fine."
"Jenna, Chill out. Breathe. It'll be okay. Tell me what's wrong."
I tried breathing. "Nothings wrong, I'm fine. I'm just not. ready. I can't hang out right now."
"Okay, breathe. Just breathe in. Deep breaths. It's okay, it's okay."
silence
"You still there?"
"yeah."
"What happened? This isn't like you."
"Nothing, I swear to god. I just can't hang out right now." My voice was on edge now.
"Are you sure nothing happened?"
silence.
"You there?"
"Yeah. I just. I don't know. I can't."
"Can't what?"
"Be around people right now. I can't do it."
"Do you want to hang out just you and me?"
"No hang out with Johnny. He sees you less than me anyway." The guilt was overwhelming, realizing the truth of this statement.
"I've been with him since early yesterday. Him and Brad spent the night. It's okay. He won't mind."
"Well. Still."
"Jenna it's okay. It's gonna be okay."
Quietly i responded, "I don't know. I can't. Think."
"Well tell me this; What's wrong?"
"i don't know." And I've never spoken truer words.
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