Megxx12: what are you stressed about though?
NeverEver414: body issues
NeverEver414: she probably thinks im disgusting
NeverEver414: is there water on my lips?
NeverEver414: does it look like im drooling?
NeverEver414: if i get this quesiton wrong the teacher will think im dumb
NeverEver414: if i dont do this
NeverEver414: this this and this will happen
NeverEver414: this shirt
NeverEver414: makes me look horrible
NeverEver414: i feel like a total lazy ass
NeverEver414: i should do something
NeverEver414: i should care more about stuff
NeverEver414: i should do what i really want to do
NeverEver414: but im too lazy
NeverEver414: and then of course
NeverEver414: theres the fact my music is never good enough
NeverEver414: i can't write it either
NeverEver414: or sing
NeverEver414: for shit
NeverEver414: or even feel like im acccepted into any group
NeverEver414: the fact im afraid whenever im in my house alone
NeverEver414: (like now)
NeverEver414: the face that its bad that i'd rather have my parents divorce
NeverEver414: then theres the annoyness that is molly
NeverEver414: and her friends
NeverEver414: and the fact
NeverEver414: boys confuse the hell out of me
NeverEver414: and i wonder
NeverEver414: "am i a good enough friend?"
NeverEver414: and then there's the fact i cant control my thoughts anymore
(cut out for ....reasons)
NeverEver414: then i go thru a list of how to cover it up at home with my mom
NeverEver414: then i wonder
NeverEver414: is that morally bad?
NeverEver414: i wonder if EVERYTHING i do is morally bad
NeverEver414: not even for the fact of my afterlife or any shit like that
NeverEver414: just in general, loike am i wasting my time when i could be doing something else right now?
NeverEver414: but of course i could totally be doing THIS right now
NeverEver414: but then it doesnt matter because i just wasted time
NeverEver414: and THEN. oh this
NeverEver414: is the best
NeverEver414: i wonder
NeverEver414: why i hate myself so much
NeverEver414: when i know
NeverEver414: it goes against everything i try to percieve everyone else
NeverEver414: as
NeverEver414: and then
NeverEver414: i cant not compare my self to others
NeverEver414: and i wonder why i do it when i have such a great life and im not taking advantage of it
NeverEver414: and that i'll never compare to molly
NeverEver414: and her afterschool shit
NeverEver414: and her grades
NeverEver414: and her ...everything
NeverEver414: because im JUST jenna
NeverEver414: im the younger child
NeverEver414: i cant even play an instrument anymore
NeverEver414: and i complain whenever i join a sport/club
NeverEver414: so whats the point?
NeverEver414: i should just be wasting my life away at a computer
NeverEver414: fuck life
NeverEver414: seriously
NeverEver414: (welcome to my brain)
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